by: Aaron
Please refer to the following key:
B-Bender L-Leela N-Nick Diamond J-Johnny Gomez M-Mills Lane
J-Welcome back to Deathbowl 3000. Nick, these two have had a huge rivalry since their last bout. It seems Bender stuffed Leela's pet, Nibbler, into the trash compactor in the middle of a drinking frenzy, and Leela's been looking to open up a cargo bay of whoop-ass on Bender ever since.
N-So let's break 'em down. Leela is the captain of Planet Express' delivery ship. Bender, well, let's look at this clip.
Hermes-Bender, mon, it has come to my attention that this company has been paying you to do nothing but loaf about on the couch.
B-You call that a couch? I demand a pillow!
(end clip)
N-Need we say more? (bell rings) It looks like Mills Lane has started the match on us, Johnny!
L-This is going to be the only time I'll ask you: Are you finally going to pull your weight around here?
B-This is you. (pulls out a Leela figurine) This is you in about 6 minutes. (bends figurine in half) (snap) Any questions?
L-(karate yell)
J-Leela starts things off like she did last time!
L- Here's a question you'll be asking very soon: "Nurse?"
B-Get bent-literally. (lunges for Leela and misses)
N-Bender fails to make good on his word, and here comes trouble!
L-To borrow a phrase from Meryl Streep: 'Bender, this is the turnbuckle. Turnbuckle, this is Bender.'
(rams Bender's head into the turnbuckle)
Crowd:1! 2! 3! 4! 5...
B-(droning) Does not compute, does not compute.
J-Uh-oh, Nick. Leela's pulling out that laser gun again!
L-(muttering to herself) Steady, Leela. This will all be over soon. (zap)
J-Leela fires! Bender ducks, and it hits his antenna!
(sitar music)
N-Bender's wide open for trouble!
J-She fires again, and... Oh My God! She missed her mark again!
N-Say good night to Zapp Brannigan.
L-Whoops,sorry.
J-Bender's just shaken it off, and here he comes again!
N-But Leela's aiming for a third time, and...
J-Wait! Bender has grabbed the laser and is running out of the ring with it!
N-Where's he going?
B-Hey, Leela.
L-What?
B-Buh-bye. (4 concecutive zaps)
J-He wasn't even aiming!
N-Yes, he was. He aimed for the lighting rig!
(crash)
J-And you can kiss Leela's black belt goodbye!
N-Change 'black belt' to 'alien ass' and it's a little more accurate, Johnny. I haven't seen the lighting rig get brought down since Deathbowl '98!
M-And the winner is... Bender!
J-An amazing finish! Bender pulls a Marilyn Manson, brings the house down, and is now 2-0!
For Celebrity Deathmatch, I'm Johnny Gomez.
N-And I'm Nick Diamond.
J-Good fight, good night.
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