Philip the Redhead Courier
Had a very spiffy 'do
And if you ever saw it
You'd say it had great lift too

All of the kids where he worked
Used to laugh and call him names
They never saw poor Philip
Win at any arcade games

Then one fateful New Year's Eve
Leela came to say
Philip with your hair so red
Everyone you knew is dead

Then how his future sparkled
And he shouted out with glee
I'm through with being a loser
No more crappy jobs for me!