Pulled from another lifetime, one of sweat and tears,
When I delivered pizzas, and always drank LoBrau beers
I fell out of the cryo tube, greeted by her one-eyed face
"Come on," she said
"I’ll give you a tour of the place."

Our first trip was to the moon, and with Bender at our sides,
But it was just a gaudy park, with broken, crazy rides,
And caught in the Eagle, after a moon hick gave us chase,
"Come on," she said
"I’ll give you a tour of the place."

She helped me find an apartment, cause the office won’t do,
The cable went out, and Bender was kicked out by mob rule
But she got us together again, now we’re good roommates
"Come on," she said
"I’ll give you a tour of the place."

We zoomed to save the animals, but we got stopped by Zap,
His whining tears and girlish moans got her into the sack
I was shocked, I was appalled, Lord, what a total disgrace
"Come on," she said
"I’ll give you a tour of the place."

And on that gray, dull planet, Bender got caught by the droids,
We dressed up all in veiling steel, yet almost got destroyed
But our chromium friend chose not to wield that wicked mace
"Come on," she said
"I’ll give you a tour of the place."

Interest had accrued to a fortune at the local bank,
I was made a billionaire, but our friendship only sank,
I sold it all for anchovies, I hope she likes the taste,
"Come on," she said
"I’ll give you a tour of the place."

On Trisol I was crowned king of the wet, fluid people
Though she warned me of my plight, I was stuck on my steeple
But fancy jewels don’t mean much, when you need a friend’s warm grace
"Come on," she said
"I’ll give you a tour of the place."

The fair, gleaming city was threatened by a ball of trash
Our trio had to stop it before all was burnt to ash
Only a last minute plan could deflect away the waste
"Come on," she said
"I’ll give you a tour of the place."

I’d go anywhere for her, even through the gates of hell,
To save our sinning friend from the fusion powered devil
Copper wings lifted us, with a golden blow to his face
"Come on," she said
"I’ll give you a tour of the place."

Under the starry nebula, while on the cursed ship
I almost got to kiss her, on her sweet and tender lips
But foiled by that black hole, her lips I couldn’t taste
"Come on," she said
"I’ll give you a tour of the place."